Balancing the Budget

If you’ve seen the news in the last few weeks, the United States government is about to shut down.  We are just days away from the budget deadline and if it passes before a new budget is voted on and passed, the government will be out of money.  Now the President and the Republican leadership in the House are going back and forth trying to prove who has the better plan and blaming the other for this crisis.  Politics aside, everyone knows that in order to balance any budget you can’t spend more than you take in.  Our government has had this backwards for years so don’t expect too much from the next vote.

Like I said, to balance a budget you need at least an equal amount of deposits to balance your withdraws.  The other night I heard a metaphor for budgets and marriage.  It is called Emotional Bank Account.  I know, I know anything that starts off with the word EMOTIONAL you want to run from.  So do I, normally, but this really makes a lot of sense.  A bank account has deposits and withdraws.  What if you withdraw more than you’ve deposited?  You have a deficit!  For years we’ve almost joked about our national dept, but someday someone is going to have to pay up.  You can’t run a deficit forever.

So how this concept works is really pretty simple.  Deposits build up your wife and withdraws tear her down.  There is one caveat to this.  Normally when you have a bank account the deposits will benefit you by means of interest or just more money.  In this case you can’t think that way.  In this account you can only be concerned with how your deposits will benefit your wife. 

What sides of the ledger to the following situations fall?

·   You come home from work and scream from the front door, “Why isn’t dinner on the table I’m starving?”	Deposit or Withdraw
·   You come home from work and notice that dinner isn’t ready.  You walk up to your wife kiss her on the neck and ask, “How can I help?”	Deposit or Withdraw

By no means am I a rocket scientists but I think I can figure these out.  In my 21+ years married and starting to get this stuff, but in all honesty it normally takes me picking the wrong way first.  After the cold draft starts I get to thinking, it would have probably gone better had I handled that differently.  One thing that I am constantly reminded of is women are wired way different then men.  What most guys and me would think is almost always the direct opposite of the way most women think. 

1 Peter 3:7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.  Understanding way?  This makes me think that women were as confusing to men in New Testament times as they are to us now.  So how do we “live in an understanding way?”  I hate this part, we have to study them.  Your going to hate this one too, ask them what they mean when they start using that foreign language womanese. 

Between some of the good messages I’ve heard lately and the book I’m currently reading, For Men Only! I’m starting to learn how to make a few deposits.  Here are a few ways I’m learning to make deposits with my wife; maybe your wife would like them too.

·   Plan a date night.  Not just once but make it a regular part of your schedule.  I always thought this was just a nice, once in awhile thing, then I learned that she really wants this more often.

·   Find ways to give her a break from the kids.  Whether it’s encouraging her to go out with friends or a ladies Bible study but something.  When doing this, be happy.  If you act begrudgingly to her going she will count this as a withdraw.  I thought I was doing her a favor and I wanted her to know that, then I learned if she leaves while I’m acting like a 2 year old she’ll be thinking about that all night and she won’t enjoy herself.

·   Value her more than money.  We all want to be good providers, work extra hours, take on second jobs; then I learned she would rather have less stuff and have me around the house with her and the kids more.

·   Make sure she knows I love her unconditionally.  I don’t remember doing this, but my wife tells me in an argument several years ago I told her she needed to loose some weight. Then I learned how self-conscious women are about their bodies.  With all the Photoshopped magazines and billboards out there my wife needs to know that I accept her as she is.

·   Listen to her without distractions.  I always “listened” to her while she was talking, and then I learned I couldn’t do this effectively while sitting in front of the tv, computer, etc.

·   Be understanding when she’s not interested in being intimate.  Guys have needs and desires right! Then I learned that women’s motors aren’t revved up all the time like guys.  She needs to be pursued all the time not just when I’m in the mood.

By the way, “then I learned” is code for “after I messed this up I learned…”

So how is your wife’s account been lately?  Have you made more deposits than withdraws?  Is she running a deficit?  I know I still have a lot of work to do.

~Walter E. Homan

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Man Up Men! Live Christlike!
Walter
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