10 ESSENTIALS FOR THOSE NEW TO RECOVERY FROM SEXUAL SIN

Hey guys, we're going to take a little different road this week.  I had a friend of mine, Jeff, ask if he could contribute an article for the newsletter and my blog.  Considering the age we live in I thought it was very well timed.  I just read an article from Paul Caughlin in an email from Focus on the Family that reminds me that we're all susceptible to the temptations of porn.  Here is a clip from that article:

"Christians aren’t immune. When surveyed, 53% of men
who attended Promise Keeper said they viewed pornography that week. 

More than 45% of Christians admit that pornography is a major problem in their home. 

An anonymous survey conducted recently by Pastors.com reported that 54% of
pastors admitted viewing porn within the last year."
Pornography and Virtual Infidelity

Jeff Fisher from porntopurity.com has a great ministry to those recovering and healing from sexual sin.  There is more info on Jeff after the article.

10 ESSENTIALS FOR THOSE NEW TO RECOVERY FROM SEXUAL SIN

I want to offer some top tips for you who are new to recovery.  These are lessons I’ve had to struggle through in my own recovery, but I find them to be universal with most guys who want freedom from sexual sin.

1.  The quicker you go to counseling the better.
Sexual sin is MUCH bigger than you.  You need wise people around you to help you process your crisis and help you go underneath the surface.  We have been acting out sexually for many reasons.  Counselors know what questions to ask and have worked with may who struggle just like you.  Break the ice on going to a counselor.  Find a Christian counselor who has training in sexual struggles.  It is money well spent!

2.  The quicker you go to a support group the better.
Second only to a counselor, a support group is the best place to find healing and victory over sexual sin.  You need to know you’re not alone.  You need other guys to walk with you in the mud.  You need to learn to come out of isolation and into real relationships.  Support groups do all that and more.

3.  Sexual struggles open the door for God to work in many areas.
At first, we think recovery is only about stopping our sexual behaviors.   But God ends up using your sexual struggles as a springboard to work on many issues in your life.  We are out of wack sexually, but also relationally, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually.  Expect God to do His good surgery in many areas of your life.

4.  Sex is not your greatest need.
One of the biggest lies we believe is that we can’t live with out sex and that sex is the highest pleasure achievable.  Our greatest needs are in other areas.  We have a deep need to know God.  We have a deep need to know others and to be known by others.  The sooner you understand that it’s not about the orgasm, the further along in recovery you’ll be.  Trust me on this one!

5.  Recovery has little to do with your outward behavior.
This is probably the biggest shocker to me.  I focused on my behaviors for decades and was counseled to do the same.  Our outward sexual behaviors are the tip of the iceburg.  The bulk of our recovery is underneath the surface.  We need healing from wounds.  We need to learn to express our emotions in a healthy way.  We need deep intimate friendships.  We need to learn to be selfless and serve others.  Stopping behaviors is relatively easy.  Healing on the inside takes much more time and effort.

6.  It’s worse than you think.
We are not the best judges of our own sexual health.  We have been blinded to our true condition.  Every sexual struggler in recovery says at some point, “I can’t believe who I used to be and what I used to do.  I was such a different person back then.”  If you’re new to recovery, you can’t see how far off course you are.  You can’t see the erosion that has taken place in your relationships and in your personal life.  Let this soak in:  Jeff tells me I am worse than I think I am. I have more to work on than I realize.

7.  Replacing lies with truth is critical to recovery.
We also can’t see the lies that we have believed.  My counselor reminds me that with every wound there is a lie that I have believed.  It’s not until you start seeing the truth that you will uncover the lies you have believed.  God’s Word will help you with this.  So will counselors, your spouse, your support group, and close friends who know your story.

8.  Work toward full disclosure.
Ooooh.  We don’t like to think about this.  But the sooner you come clean, the better.  Get the help from a counselor on how to come clean and with whom.  Those closest to you need to know.  Your spouse needs to know.  The people you have been directly involved with need to know.  Not every person needs to know every detail, but you need to quit hiding and share the truth.  When you hold onto secrets and hide you walk in the darkness.  God calls us to “walk in the light”.

9.  Pain and suffering are necessary for deep recovery.
There are no shortcuts to recovery.  There are no quick fixes.  You cannot save yourself from pain and suffering.  Breaking free from sexual sin involves challenge, hurt, brokenness, withdrawal and grieving.  You will have to suffer consequences.  You will have to see that your actions have hurt others.  Go for a deep recovery.  The only way for our recovery to go deep is if we let God push his scalpel in and scrape out all of the junk.

10. God is close and wants to bear the burden with you.
As tough as these tips are, I want you to think about this one the most.  You are not alone.  God is here.  He will help you.  He wants your recovery even more than you and He knows how to get there.  You may go through a lot of hard times, but God will always be a strong shoulder you can lean on.  He helps carry us through the toughest of times.  Be encouraged by this.

---

Jeff Fisher lives in Raleigh, NC.  He and his wife run the site www.porntopurity.com, a site designed to offer hope, encouragement and resources to those who are affected by sexual sin.  Checkout Jeff’s podcasts on I-Tunes:  Top Tips For Sexual Purity, Top Verses For Sexual Purity, and For Ministers Who Struggle.
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Man Up Men! Live Christlike!
Walter
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The Pearls

I know what’s going to happen, you guys are going to start reading this and you’ll make it to the second paragraph and figure that it’s one of those cheesy, forwarded emails, and then you’ll stop reading.  Yes, it is one of those cheesy, forwarded emails but read the whole thing. 

The Pearls

The cheerful little girl with bouncy golden curls was
almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout
stand, she saw them, a circle of glistening white pearls
in a pink foil box.

   "Oh mommy please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy,
please?"

   Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box
and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her
little girl's upturned face.

   "A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2.00. If you really
want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you and in
no time you can save enough money to buy them for
yourself. Your birthday's only a week away and you might
get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma."

   As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and
counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than
her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked
Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for ten cents.
On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar
bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace.

   Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and
grown up. She wore them everywhere, Sunday school,
kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off
was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother
said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.

   Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was
ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and
come upstairs to read her a story. One night as he
finished the story, he asked Jenny, "Do you love me?"

   "Oh yes, daddy. You know that I love you."

   "Then give me your pearls."

   "Oh, daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess, the
white horse from my collection, the one with the pink tail.

Remember, daddy? The one you gave me. She's my very
favorite."

   "That's okay, Honey, daddy loves you. Good night." And he
brushed her cheek with a kiss.

   About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy
asked again, "Do you love me?"

   "Daddy, you know I love you."

   "Then give me your pearls."

   "Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll.

The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is beautiful and you
can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper."

   "That's okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one.. Daddy
loves you."

   And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.

   A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on
her bed with her legs crossed Indian-style.

   As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one
silent tear rolled down her cheek.

   "What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?"

   Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her
daddy. And when she opened it, there was her little pearl
necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said,
         

   "Here daddy, this is for you."

    With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's daddy reached out
with one hand to take the dime store necklace, and with the
other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue
velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls and gave them to
Jenny... He had had them all the time.

   He was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store stuff so
he could give her the genuine treasure.

   So it is, with our Heavenly Father. He is waiting for us to give
up the cheap things in our lives so that he can give us beautiful treasures.

   God will never take away something without giving you something
better in its place.

My Two Cents

This was one of those forwarded emails that seem to make it rounds all over the world.  Most of the time I would scan an email like this real quick and then delete it but this one was different.  This one really made me think.

How many times have we substituted God’s best plan with our cheap plan.  Most of us have the same problem as this little girl, we’re impatient and we want instant gratification not realizing there is something better.  Look at Matthew 7:7-11.  We have completely messed this up.  Instead of ask, seek, and knock we just take what we want.  Drugs and alcohol does this by substituting the true healing of a Godly relationship with the instant numbing of the substance.  Porn, in much the same way, substitutes God’s plan of sex with airbrushed images.  It’s so easy to get caught up in what seems right; like working so many hours for our family that we never see our family.  Let’s face it; God’s plan is always better than ours.  When we jump the gun and settle for the cheap pearls we miss out on all the good things that God has for us.  In what ways are you settling for the cheap pearls because your rushing God?  What blessings are you missing out on?  Spend some time in prayer this week and ask God without a time frame in mind.

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Man Up Men! Live Christlike!
Walter
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I Want to Know What Love Is

If you’re in your late 30’s or early 40’s you’re like me and were a teen in the 80’s.  We were lucky enough with the bands of the 70’s and 80’s.  I mean not just some wimpy teeny-bopper bands like today, but these were some established rock bands that wrote some awesome songs. Many of these bands wrote some great ballads as well. I used to crank this stuff all the time.  That’s what we did, right?  I drove around with my girl friend in my ’68 Chevelle, back when they really were hot rods not just chick cars with subwoofers.  We listened to all those songs and we thought we had it all figured out.

Ok, fast forward a few years and I’m getting married.  Standing at the altar and my soon to be wife walks into the room on the arm of her father, my first thought was “I’m getting married!?!?”  Don’t get me wrong, I was in love with her, I mean I knew all the songs by heart.

Fast forward a few more years.  I’m a married guy and I’m wondering why my wife is upset with me.  Every morning before I left for work I would tell her, “I love you” because I still remembered what it meant.  So what was bugging her?  In 1984 Foreigner released the song “I Want to Know What Love Is”.  Here’s the chorus:

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me
I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
And I wanna feel, I want to feel what love is
And I know, I know you can show me.

I was beginning to get the feeling that saying “I love you” was not showing her that I loved her.

The Bible uses three different words for our word love.  Phileo is friendship love, Philadelphia – city of brotherly love.  Next is eros.  This is passion, sexual, or erotic.  Sadly our world has high jacked this and told everyone this is real love.  Soap operas, porn, tv, and movies portray people jumping into bed and say that it’s love.  In God’s plan of marriage first and sex second, eros love is a great thermometer of our relationship, but the world thinks it’s a thermostat.  What I mean is the world thinks if we have great sex our relationship will get better.  The truth is, if your marriage relationship is great you’ll have great sex.  The last, and in my opinion, the greatest love is agape.  This is the self-sacrificing love, the selfless love, the willing to give up our wants to please our spouse.

In Ephesians 5:25, Paul tells us how we are to love our wives, “as Christ loved the church”.  He died for the church, remember?  1 John 3:16 “We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.”  I think that is probably the ultimate in self-sacrificing.  John even tells us that we should be willing to die for the brethren.  We should be agape loving our fellow believers, and I think you could argue all mankind.  Christ didn’t only die for Christians; He died for all.  Here is another part that the world gets wrong, agape love isn’t reciprocal.  It’s not give and take; it’s all give.  Our goal should be to please others.  Paul write for us in Romans 5:8, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”  While we were living against God’s law, he still loved us enough to die.  We can’t “love” our wives according to what she does for us; we are commanded to love our wives because we are to mirror Christ.  This falls into all of our relationships.  We can’t only love our kids when they get good grades or score more points. 

Likewise, I believe that showing agape love towards our neighbors and the world in general is the best way to win them to Christ.  By consisting serving your neighbor he may wonder “why do you shovel my snow even I yell at your kids?”, “what’s so different about you?”.

Agape love is what holds marriages together for 60 years.  Agape love builds long lasting friendships.  Agape love brings people to Christ.

~Walter E. Homan

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Man Up Men! Live Christlike!
Walter
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Not Returning... 1 Peter 3:7-9

I've  been reading "the Christian Husband" by Bob Lepine.  I was reading this morning and came across 1 Peter 3:7-9. 
7 aYou husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with 1bsomeone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.

8 1To sum up, aall of you be harmonious, sympathetic, bbrotherly, ckindhearted, and dhumble in spirit;

9 anot returning evil for evil or binsult for insult, but 1giving a cblessing instead; for dyou were called for the very purpose that you might einherit a blessing.

I have read this at least 20 times before but for some reason this morning it just jumped off the page at me.  Look at vs 9.  Not returning evil for evil, insult for insult but give blessings.  Why didn't I ever see that before.  I know for a fact that I've gotten caught up in "discussions" with my wife and I did not flood her with blessings.  I was doing more of the chucking insult/blame grenades.  I need to keep this in mind the next time.


After I finish the book I will post a full review of it.

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Man Up Men! Live Christlike!
Walter
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Let's Hang Our Camo In The Closet And Only Use It When We're In The Wild

A Daily Study of God's Word for Christian Sportsmen February 4, 2011

Today's Photograph . . . . Let's Hang Our Camo In The Closet And Only Use It When We're In The Wild (MQ) Bible Study Verse Matthew 26:73-74 After a little while, those standing there went up to Peter and said, "Surely you are one of them, for your accent gives you away." Then he began to call down curses on himself and he swore to them, "I don't know the man!" (NIV) Thoughts I couldn't have been any closer. The big eight-point buck was less than two feet away! As he stepped slightly behind me, he caught my scent and was gone, leaving only my heart pounding in my chest. What a rush! I had been squirrel hunting in Northeast Arkansas when the encounter happened. I was sitting on the ground just on the edge of a power line right-of- way. Thanks to my excellent camouflage, the buck didn't see me as he patrolled the highline. The wind was perfect and he came right up to me. Had it not been for good wind direction and my good camouflage clothing, this encounter would have never happened. (Brian H) Action Point Man! There is nothing like a good set of camouflage hunting clothes. It's helpful, it's functional, and it's even been made decorative in today's culture. Let's face it, camo is in! However, there's a type of camouflage that's not good at all. The camouflage that Christians put on in order to blend in. We're so afraid of being recognized and ridiculed that we're like Peter around the fire. "Hey, I don't know Him!" We've become masters of blending in to the point that it actually surprises people when they find out that we are Christians. How sad a testimony to our Savior this is. OK, sportsmen around the world, let's hang our camouflage in the closet and only use it when we're in the wild. When we're out in the world, let's make it our purpose to NOT blend in. Let's make it our purpose to stand out like a light on a hill - a lighthouse that prevents our world from totally crashing and burning on the rocks of sin and eternal punishment. There are encounters for God that will never happen as long as we're blending in so well that the world thinks we're one of them. God bless you, friend, as you strive to stand out!!!

Sportsmen's Tip of the Day Add a tiny drop or two of mineral oil and a light dusting of salt to your rubber tube jigs and plastic artificial baits to keep them from melting in the summer heat and sticking together. The salt adds a bit of flavor to them as well.

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Man Up Men! Live Christlike!
Walter
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God’s Job Description for Men - Prophet Priest and King Series / Part 3 - A Godly Man’s Role as King

We often look across the pond to England and view the royals when we think of kings and queens.  We see them as figureheads more than anything else.  We see them ride in chariots and Rolls Royce’s; vacationing in exotic places, and throwing lavish parties that would cost us a lifetime of paychecks to pay for.  If you recall just a few months ago, Prince Charles was attacked because of the people rage against the privileged royal family while the rest of England struggles to survive.

Deuteronomy 17:15-20 gives us a good list of what was required by God for the king of Israel:

·      Chosen by God vs. 15

·      Shall not multiply horses for himself vs. 16

·      Shall not multiply wives vs. 17

·      Shall not increase silver and gold for himself vs.17

·      He shall write a copy of the scripture and keep it with him always and to obey it vs.19

·      Shall not be lifted up above his countrymen vs.20

·      Shall not turn away from the commandments vs.20

So what is the picture of a Christlike king?  What would his traits be? 

First he would have to be willing to make himself a servant-leader.  Servant-leader?  Seems like an oxymoron doesn’t it?  I thought we were talking about being a king?  In Matthew 20:25 Jesus warns us of worldly kings wielding their authority over us.  In vs. 26-28 He lays it out for us, “It is not this way among you, abut whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”  If you beat your wife over the head with your authoritative position as king you’ll never know what it’s like to be loved and respected by her.  You may be feared but is that your goal?  The end of vs. 28 tells us plainly “to give His life”.  Our culture frowns on servant hood but it’s truly a high calling.  Please don’t confuse this with slavery.  Neither the husband nor wives are to be slaves, remember Eve came from Adam’s side not his foot. 

Lets hit the second part of servant-leader.  Leadership seems to be lost in modern families.  With shows like “the Simpsons”, “Home Improvement”, “According to Jim”, and many others; fathers/men are looked at as buffoons.  Men can’t do anything right and they’re always acting immature and selfish.  No wonder we have a bunch of messed up kids growing up, they’ve never seen a real man act like a real man.  Leadership is not being some kind of a tyrant but it is ruling your house.  Like it or not guys we are responsible in the sight of God for what goes on with our wives and kids.  I’m not saying adults aren’t responsible for their own choices, I’m saying that it is our job to make sure we taught and trained them well.  2 Samuel 22:3-4 says “…He who rules over men righteously, who rules in the fear of God, is as the light of the morning when the sun rises, a morning without clouds, when the tender grass springs out of the earth, through sunshine after rain.”

So what does a leader do?  HE LEADS! Duh!  He doesn’t follow his wife to church; he leads her to church.  He doesn’t listen quietly while she reads the Bible to him; he takes her by the hand, sits down with her, and leads her in Bible study.  He doesn’t stare at the floor while she corrects the children; he steps up takes their wrath and leads his kids in Biblical discipline.  I was guilty of all of this.  I sat by and let my wife do everything.  I found she lost respect for me, I lost respect for me, and I wasn’t following God’s plan for being a man.

A Godly king will: look to God and the Bible for guidance and wisdom, serve his wife and family, encourage them to seek after God’s plan for their life, provide for them both physically and spiritually, protect them, and lead and train them in Godly teachings.

Let’s follow Christ in being the Prophets, Priests, and Kings to our families that God has called us to be.

~Walter E. Homan

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Walter
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What Does God Think About Sex? - FamilyLife.com

Post from:  FamilyLife 

Dennis and Barbara Rainey

When you and your spouse married, I'm sure you expected to have a healthy and active sexual relationship together. That's great—that's what God intended. Unfortunately, the daily stress of life often gets in the way of sex, distracting the attention of a husband and wife from each other and from pleasing each other.

Sex can become a marital battleground, even in young marriages, because of emotional and mental baggage from histories of sexual abuse, inappropriate sexual behavior in past relationships (or even with your spouse before marriage), or pornography. Even if these experiences or issues do not apply to you directly, our culture's messages about and portrayals of sex can unconsciously influence the way you and your spouse respond and relate to each other in bed. 

To build an intimate marriage, husband and wife must be committed to meeting each other's physical and emotional needs. Because most men and women have differing ideas, standards, and expectations about sex, it's no wonder that many marriages suffer in this area.  One of the best things you can do is learn about God's purposes for sex.  After all, He is the Designer—He created our bodies.  And you may be surprised to know what He had in mind.

God's purposes

The Designer of sex made numerous statements integral to the sexual aspect of marriage. First, sex is the process He gave us to multiply a godly heritage. He commanded us to "be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it" (Gen. 1:28).

But God also designed sex for our pleasure, to be enjoyed in the marriage bed. Sex is meant to be a bonding experience with your spouse. Scripture talks significantly more about enjoying the pleasures of sex than it does about being fruitful and multiplying! As Dr. Ed Wheat wrote, "God Himself invented sex for our delight. It was His gift to us—intended for pleasure."

The Song of Solomon, though full of spiritual meaning and application, provides an excellent description of God's intention for a husband and wife's sexual relationship. According to Solomon, the man has the freedom to enjoy his wife's body, and the woman has the freedom to enjoy his. Here's a sample of how the lover and his beloved expressed that freedom in the Song of Solomon. The lover (King Solomon himself) said:

How beautiful are your feet in sandals, O prince's daughter! The curves of your hips are like jewels, the work of the hands of an artist. Your navel is like a round goblet which never lacks mixed wine; Your belly is like a heap of wheat fenced about with lilies. Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle. ... How beautiful and how delightful you are, my love, with all your charms! (Song of Solomon 7:1-3, 6)

Men, these words give us three points on how to be great lovers for our wives.

First, Solomon readily praised the young Shulammite woman, his beloved. He told her how beautiful she was with vivid and picturesque language that communicated his admiration to her. I often ask the husbands at our marriage getaways, "When was the last time you wrote your wife a love letter that praised her and told her how beautiful she is?" Solomon understood how important this is in communicating love.

Second, Solomon was romantic. His poetic words describe his beloved's entire body as a source of delight. Some husbands have an easy time being creatively romantic, but the rest of us need help in this area.

Third, Solomon's focus was physical. A wife may be tempted to resent her husband's sex drive and physical focus, but she should understand that much more than a woman, a man is stimulated by sight. And God designed him this way deliberately.

A lovely lover

What about the bride's approach to sex? Some of her comments about her lover indicate that she focused on what she saw (Song of Solomon 5:10-16):

My beloved is dazzling and ruddy, outstanding among ten thousand. His head is like gold, pure gold; his locks are like clusters of dates, and black as a raven. His eyes are like doves, beside streams of water, bathed in milk, and reposed in their setting. His cheeks are like a bed of balsam, banks of sweet-scented herbs; his lips are lilies, dripping with liquid myrrh. His hands are rods of gold set with beryl; his abdomen is carved ivory inlaid with sapphires. His legs are pillars of alabaster set on pedestals of pure gold. His appearance is like Lebanon, choice as the cedars. His mouth is full of sweetness and he is wholly desirable. This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.

She also spoke of how she felt in her lover's arms (7:10-12):

I am my beloved's, and his desire is for me. Come, my beloved, let us go out into the country, let us spend the night in the villages. Let us rise early and go to the vineyards; let us see if the vine has budded and its blossoms have opened, and whether the pomegranates have bloomed. Then I will give you my love.

Then she revealed her feelings about physical passion (8:5-7):

Beneath the apple tree I awakened you; ... Put me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, jealousy is as severe as Sheol; its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord. Many waters cannot quench love; nor will rivers overflow it.

These passages illustrate the two main aspects of a woman's approach to love: the physical and the relational. The Shulammite woman described her lover's body as richly and colorfully as Solomon's depiction of her. But she then focused on him as a total person and their relationship.

Men often make the mistake of focusing only on the physical side of sex. Sex is much more than a physical act that ends in a few minutes. Sex actually brings two people together in body, soul, and spirit. When the soul and spirit parts of sex are missing, the woman will feel empty, undesired, and used. One woman I counseled confessed that her husband approached her only one night a month. "He never shares his life with me," she said. "He slips into bed with the lights off, we make love, and that's it." I will never forget her next comment: "Making love with him is like a bread-and-water diet." Ouch!

If a marriage is going through a rocky spell, or a spouse is struggling with an emotionally difficult issue, the problems will almost always manifest themselves in the sexual relationship. Sex acts like a gauge, measuring the depth of a relationship. For the woman I just described, the physical experience left her lonely and longing for true companionship. For sex to be truly satisfying for both partners, each has to be totally open and vulnerable to the other. Each person must feel needed, wanted, accepted, and loved sacrificially.

Sexual adjustment takes time in every marriage. Enjoy the process—that was God's intent when He created this awesome experience for intimacy in marriage.

Adapted by permission from Rekindling the Romance, by Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2004.

Related resources
Rekindling the Romance, by Dennis and Barbara Rainey
God on Sex, by Daniel Akin
Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God, by CJ Mahaney
Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, by Dr. William Cutrer and Sandra Glahn

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Man Up Men! Live Christlike!

Walter

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End Your Season Well

I read this morning and it reminded me of how we have so many eyes on us. We need to guard our integrity, temptation is all around and it takes on many shapes.

Post from:  http://www.christianitytoday.com/moi/2011/001/february/4.4.html

End Your Season Well
Theme of the week: A Hunter's Guide to Holiness
Friday, February 4, 2011

Key Bible Verse: for I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ's return. (Philippians 1:10) Dig Deeper: Philippians 1:9-11

The old fellow stood at the fence and looked longingly at the huge deer that had just jumped it. As if tempting him to shoot, the buck stood there for what seemed like forever and then ran away.

"Why didn't you take the shot, Gramps?" the young hunter asked.

The seasoned hunter remained motionless, looking toward the one that got away. Then he spoke softly. "Boy, you know me better than that. And you know very well that the land on the other side of this fence is off limits."

The grandson grew very quiet as his grandfather continued. "Young man, I've been around for a lot of years and managed to build a pretty good reputation for being on the up-and-up when it comes to following the rules. I'm not about to let an old buck tempt me into messing up now. I'm too close to the end of my season for such foolishness."

No shots were fired that day, but a great harvest took place in the boy's heart. He learned firsthand what integrity looks like. If he imitated what was personified in the life of his gramps, the young man would do well in and out of the woods.

—Steve Chapman in A Look at Life from a Deer Stand Devotional

My Response: When I am tempted to "break the rules," I will stop and evaluate the impact the decision would have on myself and others.

Thought to Apply: You must bless the church and the world by your holiness, or you will curse them both by your hypocrisy and inconsistency.—Charles Spurgeon (British preacher)

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Man Up Men! Live Christlike!
Walter
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God’s Job Description for Men - Prophet Priest and King Series / Part 2 - A Godly Man’s Role as Priest

This week we are going to look our role as priest, no robe required.  The priests of the Old Testament had two major responsibilities: leading worship and interceding for the people.

In the modern church we immediately hear “leading worship” and we think of a song leader.  That certainly is part of it.  How did the priests lead worship?  Lets take a look at a few examples: Noah (Gen. 8:20), Abraham (12:7; 13:4), Isaac (26:25), Jacob (31:54), and Job (Job 1:5).  These men led their family in worship by building an altar and offering a sacrifice.  The reason for sacrifice varied.  Some were offered in thanksgiving, some for first fruits, and some were for to ask forgiveness of sins against God law. 

Easton’s Bible Dictionary describes it as “homage rendered to God”.  Now we can’t offer sacrifices in the same manner that they did but we can still offer them with same spirit.  In what ways can we offer homage?  Music?  Have you ever paid attention to the words of worship songs?  Several of them are love songs to God.  Have you ever lead your family in worship music?  As much as I love music, I don’t think I’ve ever done that.  How about prayer?  When you’ve benefited from God’s grace have you led your family in thankful worship?  God wants to hear from us.  I used to pray the same ”blessing” at every meal.  Ready, here it is “God is great, God is good, now we thank you for this food, amen.”  Now how’s that first deep meaningful prayer?  We get stuck in a rut of speaking christianese to impress who?  God?  I’ve since learned that we need to be real and teach our kids to be real in front of God.  I believe we need speak to God and as would talk to our closest friend.  It’s also incredibly important that we do this in front of our kids and others that look up to us.  They need to see that this is a real relationship.  For some reason we breakout in to old English and we God seem so distant.  We need to get rid of the “thy’s” and “thou’s” out of our prayers.  Our praise and worship has to be real, not rehearsed, not to impress other, just genuine.

As priests we have another responsibility, that of intercessor for our families.  An intercessor is a go between, someone that petitions a higher power on behalf of a lesser power.  Jesus is our intercessor, 1 Timothy 2:5-6 For there is one God, and one mediator also between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, 6 who ^agave Himself as a ransom for all, the testimony given at the proper time.  John 17 gives us an example of what an intercessor should do.  In this chapter Jesus make six different requests or petitions to God.  My Bible titles this the High Priestly Prayer.

1.     Vs. 1, that He(Jesus) would glorify God.  Are we praying that we and our family and friends are glorifying God?

2.     Vs. 3, that others/desciples would know God.  In Phil 1:9, Paul prays that the Philipians would grow in knowledge.   We need to be praying for our families spiritual knowledge.  How to they learn?  It’s our responsibility to provide them with ways to grow.  Family devotions, taking them to church, and talking about the things of God are all ways for them to learn.

3.     Vs. 11, that they would be keep them by his power.  The NIV uses the word protect for keep.  We need to not only pray for their physical safety, but also for their spiritual.  If Satan can’t get us, he will surly go for our kids.

4.     Vs. 17, sanctify them in truth.  We need to be praying for purity for our families and us.  Guys you know as well as I do how easy it would be take just click on that link.  What can our kids access?

5.      Vs. 23, unity.  Unity in church as well as at home.  Do your kids ever fight?  How about you and your wife.

6.     Vs. 24, continual relationship.  I forget what the statistic was exactly but I households where the father takes the family to church, I think it was close to 70% stayed in church compared to 20% were the father didn’t go.

We all pray for safety and grades but are we praying for the deeper things?  Single guys you aren’t off the hook.  You can be praying for all of these things for you families and friends.  Let’s make it a point to get out of the rut and get into some deep conversations with God and brings our loved ones needs with us.

~Walter E. Homan

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Man Up Men! Live Christlike!
Walter
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Daddy-Daughter Date Night Idea

If your a fan of Chick-Fil-A you might be interested in their Daddy-Daughter Date Night.  It's an affordable was to take your daughters out for Valentine's Day.

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Man Up Men! Live Christlike!
Walter
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It's Getting Closer

We're getting excited!  The UPS man dropped off 2 heavy packages for us today.

Just 10 days away.  My wife and I have so many great contacts because of this conference.  If your coming, I hope you know that there are thousands of people praying for you all over the world.
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Man Up Men! Live Christlike!
Walter
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