Culture Challenge of the Week: Underperforming Dads

The following is taken from an email from Rebekah Hagelin's "30 Ways in 30 Days to Save Your Family"

One of the saddest comments I've ever heard came from an embittered college student named Carly: "He's not my dad.  He's just a sperm donor."  

She didn't mean it literally. Her mom and dad were married and had two kids, Carly and a younger brother. But, Carly felt every bit as abandoned as a child who'd never known her father. 

Why? Because her dad was rarely home. He worked hard. But, putting together high-stakes financial deals had always seemed to crowd-out time for ordinary things, like dinner with Carly and her brother. He filled the kids' college funds, but was never there to drive Carly to high school band practice or performances, or help her brother choose the right baseball glove. 

His words of love rang hollow. Years of hurtful neglect -- in spite of material comfort -- had hardened Carly's heart to the point that she didn't care anymore. At least that's what she told herself. 

She'd given up on her father's love.

I thought of Carly's story as I look ahead to Sunday's celebration of Father's Day.  What do kids need most from their dads? 

Research shows clearly how important fathers are in a child's life.  Children raised in homes without a father -- currently about one-third of all U.S. children -- are more likely to be poor, or suffer health problems. They are more likely to underperform in school, get in trouble with the law, and engage in high-risk behaviors (teen sex, drinking, and drugs). But, even children who have a father "present" may experience "father-hunger" -- with consequences for their emotional health, and eventual success in life. 

On the flip side, children whose fathers are emotionally available and responsive fare better as adults than children whose fathers are not.

I asked a seasoned Dad I know for his perspective, and it made sense of Carly's anguish. 

"What kids need from their fathers is their ‘daily bread,'" he said. "Like God -- our Father -- does for us, we need to give our kids what they need to thrive as human beings today, not in some far-off future."

Wise words.  Love must be practical.  Words alone won't feed a child hungry for her "daily bread."     

How to Save Your Family: Be a Provident Dad

A provident dad -- one who provides ‘daily bread' -- inspires trust, affection, gratitude, and love. A child well provided for -- emotionally, spiritually, and physically -- is a child who feels loved. 

So, what does that mean, practically? 

First, "providing well" does not require wealth, nor does it mean fulfilling every wish, or material desire our kids have.

It starts by providing spiritually: pray daily for your children.  If you don't, who will?  Shepherd them firmly, daily, in character growth.  Choose a virtue for your child to work on.  Encourage them as they try to live it, and pray for the wisdom to know which faults to overlook for today.

Second, provide emotionally. Fill their "love tanks" daily, as author Ross Campbell says in his timeless classic, How to Really Love Your Child.  Send a message of love each day by spending one-on-one time, giving physical affection, and making eye contact (with your child, not your smartphone, when your child is speaking).

Third, tend to their daily concerns.  Is the football try-out coming up? Get out there in the 95-degree heat and help your son master a spiral. Do they have a big test tomorrow? Offer to review the material with your daughter; quiz her, or simply tell her you'll pray for her while she takes it.

Fourth, ask other, more experienced dads to share the tips and strategies that have helped them be good dads.  "The Awesome Dad Cheat Sheet" is a great list, written by a father of six, full of practical, time-tested tips to help you be the father your children need.

Finally, just be there. Presence matters.  

You are, after all, irreplaceable.

------

Children need their fathers. And, they need him for more than just teaching how to throw a baseball, or how to bait a hook for fishing. Fathers are there to be spiritual leaders in the household. Just as we look to our Heavenly Father for guidance and comfort, children look to their fathers for the same. However, they can only be that leader when they take an active role in the lives of their children. 

Warmly,

Rebecca

P.S. - If you know someone who would like this message on the role of fathers, please send it to them using the "Forward to a Friend" tool below. You can also encourage them to sign up for their own newsletter at www.HowToSaveYourFamily.com.


Walter's Two Cents

I've been talking to quite a few dads lately and they have been asking me the same thing, "how do I balance everything?"  I don't have the answer!  I suffer from the same thing.  How do I balance my marriage, my family, my ministry, my job?  I DON'T KNOW!!!  The one thing I do know is I have to do it better than I am now.  We all get discouraged thinking we're the worst dad ever.  The best advice I can give is talk to your wife, your kids, and some older Godly men.  If you do have suggestions please share them with the rest of us.

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Walter
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"COURAGEOUS" the Movie - Update & Trailer

I'm still waiting to here the theaters that "Courageous" will be in.  Please keeping checking back.  The trailer looks great, take a look.

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Walter
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And Now for Your Viewing Pleasure…

When I was a kid, my dad would always bring home pizza every Friday night after work.  We would stay up ‘til 1am watching old TV shows.  Anybody know what TV show Bob Denver starred in before “Gilligan’s Island”?  The old shows would start with the main characters doing a little commercial.  Each show had a special product that they would hock.  For George Burns and Gracie Allen it was Carnation Milk, Jack Benny was Jello, Ozzie and Harriett was Aunt Jemima Pancake Mix, Groucho Marx was Prom Shampoo, and even Yogi Bear hocked Kellogg’s Corn Flakes.  Anyway, they would finish up with their commercial and then they would say “and now for your viewing pleasure”.  Great now the program was starting!  That’s a good memory.

A lot of us guys have used the same phrase for the start of summer.  And now for your viewing pleasure we present short-shorts, low-cut tops, bikinis, etc.  Summertime can be tough on a guy trying to live Christlike.  The O’Kaysions made it an official pastime in 1959 with what else “Girl Watcher”

I'm a girl watcher

I'm a girl watcher

Watchin' girls go by

My, my, my

I'm a girl watcher

I'm a girl watcher

Here comes one now

Mmmm, mmm, mmm

I was just a boy

When I threw away my toys

I found a new pastime

To dwell on

Whenever I detect

Members of the other sex

I play the game I do so well, oh

I'm a girl watcher

I'm a girl watcher

Watchin' girls go by

My, my, my

I'm a girl watcher

I'm a girl watcher

Here comes one now

Hello there, female

My, my, but you do look swell

Could you please walk

A little slower

I wonder if you know

That you're putting on a show

Could you please walk

A little closer

I'm a girl watcher

I'm a girl watcher

Watchin' girls go by

My, my, my

I'm a girl watcher

I'm a girl watcher

Here comes one now

Mmm, mmm, mmm

Okay let’s get all of the rationalizations out of the way right now.

·   I’m just window-shopping.

·   God wants us to enjoy His creation.

·   I’m just looking, it’s not like I’m going to sleep with her.

·   If she didn’t want me to look she wouldn’t dress that way.

·   Looking never hurt anyone.

Now that we got that out of our system let’s take a look at King David.  2 Samuel 11:1 starts the story of David enjoying a little girl watching.  (vs. 1) Instead of being with his men David is just lounging around the palace. (vs 2) David can’t sleep so he takes a walk on the roof and there is where he got a look at naked Bathsheba.  Now I’ve always taken the philosophy even up to this point David hasn’t done anything wrong.  We’ve all seen things that we didn’t mean to see (internet pop-ups) and that’s not our fault, right?  If we’re on a risky website we certainly greaten our chance of seeing the wrong kind of pop-up.  So if we we’re where we shouldn’t be in the first place, yeah, that’s wrong.  Back to David on the roof.  Did I mention Bathsheba was naked?  It seems that part kind of stuck with David too because he sent for her.  (vs. 4)  David goes from taking a walk to sleeping with one of his general’s wife. I’ll let you read the rest of the story 2 Samuel 11:5 – 12:23.  Shall we go back to the list above?  Just looking, doesn’t hurt anyone.  Have you ever asked your wife if she feels hurt when you look at other women?  I’m guessing the answer would be YES!  Do you think she may feel like Uriah with a spear through her heart?

Again we’re only looking we’re not going to sleep with her.  Remember the statement from a famous person, “depends on what is, is”.  Sleep with her, sex, adultery that’s the line, right?  Old Testament law agrees, Leviticus 20:10 “If there is a man who commits adultery with another man’s wife, one who commits adultery with his friend’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.”  There you go, it’s the act of having sex with someone not your wife! That’s the sin!  Okay as long as we don’t take it that far we’re okay. 

Wait a minute, God wasn’t finished talking to us when Leviticus was written.  He still has plenty to say in the New Testament.  Let’s take a look at Matthew 5.  Jesus has just finished picking His disciples and a crowd starts to gather.  He goes to the mountaintop to speak to them; we know this as the “Sermon on the Mount”.  Jesus starts to reveal new teachings.  It’s not only the act but it’s also the heart attitude.  (vs.21) Jesus starts with us angry people.  “You have heard that the ancients were told ‘You shall not commit murder’”.  (vs. 22) “But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court...”  He continues to look into our hearts.  (vs 27-28) “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”  Guess what, looking is a sin too!

Guys we have to watch out for what we’re watching.  It doesn’t take long for the “and now for your viewing pleasure” attitude to care control of us and lead us down a very dark path.  The next time you think that just a look won’t hurt anyone, remember where it took David.

~Walter E. Homan

Could Marvin Gaye Be Right?

Have you ever noticed that your attitude can affect your whole household?  I’m speaking more to husbands and fathers, but all of our attitudes affect everyone.  When I have a lousy day at work or I come home to screaming kids, how to I react?  Normally scream at everyone and mope around. 

Does it help anyone or any situation when I get angry?  Not normally, it normally goes from bad to worse.  Check out these lyrics.

Anger

By Marvin Gaye 1978

Up and down my back, my spine, in my brain
It injures me, babe....

Anger, can make you old, yes it can
I said anger, can make you sick, children... oh Jesus
Anger destroys your soul
Rage, there's no room for rage in there
There's no room for rage in here
line up some place to go to be mad
It's a sin to treat your body bad

When anger really gets the best of us
We've really lost our heads
We often say a lof of things, oh darlin'
Wish we'd never said
Oh, reason is beyond control
And the things we do spite
Makes me ashamed
And I mean this, baby, makes me want to the things right

Someday soon I hope and pray like Jesus
I'll reach that wiser age
Hope I will learn I really never never profit
From things I do in rage

One more time-anger, more ager
When it's flaming hot
Anger burns to the bitter end
Know what i'm talkin' 'bout
When it cools I find out too late
I have lost at love, love, love, dear friend
I said, anger will make you sick,
children, oh Jesus
Anger destroys your soul

I ain't gonna let you get the best of me, babe
I'm gonna go somewhere and cool
This is not the way my head's supposed to be, babe
You've got me feelin' like some silly fool
But I know a real nice place where I can go
And feel the way I’m supposed to feel

I don't want to be mad at nobody
I don't want to be feelin' bad
Up and down my back, my spine, in my brain
It injures me, babe

Anger, can make you old, yes it can
I said anger will make you sick, children, oh Jesus
Anger destroys your soul
Anger
Anger

It seems to me that Marvin Gaye has a pretty good understanding of the cost of anger.

The funny thing is, it really bothers me when people are angry with me.  I mean why can’t they just show me some mercy?  Oh, mercy!  Maybe I should give that a try myself.  Christ has every reason to be angry with me, yet He freely gives me mercy.  I can’t think of one person who has wronged me as much as I have wronged God.  I guessing that no one has ever gotten an ulcer from mercy either.

God help me to grant as much mercy as you have granted me!

~Walter E. Homan

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Walter
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Balancing the Budget

If you’ve seen the news in the last few weeks, the United States government is about to shut down.  We are just days away from the budget deadline and if it passes before a new budget is voted on and passed, the government will be out of money.  Now the President and the Republican leadership in the House are going back and forth trying to prove who has the better plan and blaming the other for this crisis.  Politics aside, everyone knows that in order to balance any budget you can’t spend more than you take in.  Our government has had this backwards for years so don’t expect too much from the next vote.

Like I said, to balance a budget you need at least an equal amount of deposits to balance your withdraws.  The other night I heard a metaphor for budgets and marriage.  It is called Emotional Bank Account.  I know, I know anything that starts off with the word EMOTIONAL you want to run from.  So do I, normally, but this really makes a lot of sense.  A bank account has deposits and withdraws.  What if you withdraw more than you’ve deposited?  You have a deficit!  For years we’ve almost joked about our national dept, but someday someone is going to have to pay up.  You can’t run a deficit forever.

So how this concept works is really pretty simple.  Deposits build up your wife and withdraws tear her down.  There is one caveat to this.  Normally when you have a bank account the deposits will benefit you by means of interest or just more money.  In this case you can’t think that way.  In this account you can only be concerned with how your deposits will benefit your wife. 

What sides of the ledger to the following situations fall?

·   You come home from work and scream from the front door, “Why isn’t dinner on the table I’m starving?”	Deposit or Withdraw
·   You come home from work and notice that dinner isn’t ready.  You walk up to your wife kiss her on the neck and ask, “How can I help?”	Deposit or Withdraw

By no means am I a rocket scientists but I think I can figure these out.  In my 21+ years married and starting to get this stuff, but in all honesty it normally takes me picking the wrong way first.  After the cold draft starts I get to thinking, it would have probably gone better had I handled that differently.  One thing that I am constantly reminded of is women are wired way different then men.  What most guys and me would think is almost always the direct opposite of the way most women think. 

1 Peter 3:7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.  Understanding way?  This makes me think that women were as confusing to men in New Testament times as they are to us now.  So how do we “live in an understanding way?”  I hate this part, we have to study them.  Your going to hate this one too, ask them what they mean when they start using that foreign language womanese. 

Between some of the good messages I’ve heard lately and the book I’m currently reading, For Men Only! I’m starting to learn how to make a few deposits.  Here are a few ways I’m learning to make deposits with my wife; maybe your wife would like them too.

·   Plan a date night.  Not just once but make it a regular part of your schedule.  I always thought this was just a nice, once in awhile thing, then I learned that she really wants this more often.

·   Find ways to give her a break from the kids.  Whether it’s encouraging her to go out with friends or a ladies Bible study but something.  When doing this, be happy.  If you act begrudgingly to her going she will count this as a withdraw.  I thought I was doing her a favor and I wanted her to know that, then I learned if she leaves while I’m acting like a 2 year old she’ll be thinking about that all night and she won’t enjoy herself.

·   Value her more than money.  We all want to be good providers, work extra hours, take on second jobs; then I learned she would rather have less stuff and have me around the house with her and the kids more.

·   Make sure she knows I love her unconditionally.  I don’t remember doing this, but my wife tells me in an argument several years ago I told her she needed to loose some weight. Then I learned how self-conscious women are about their bodies.  With all the Photoshopped magazines and billboards out there my wife needs to know that I accept her as she is.

·   Listen to her without distractions.  I always “listened” to her while she was talking, and then I learned I couldn’t do this effectively while sitting in front of the tv, computer, etc.

·   Be understanding when she’s not interested in being intimate.  Guys have needs and desires right! Then I learned that women’s motors aren’t revved up all the time like guys.  She needs to be pursued all the time not just when I’m in the mood.

By the way, “then I learned” is code for “after I messed this up I learned…”

So how is your wife’s account been lately?  Have you made more deposits than withdraws?  Is she running a deficit?  I know I still have a lot of work to do.

~Walter E. Homan

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Walter
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Rest

Rest has different meanings to different people.  To some it’s a get away from work to hiking, biking, paintballing or some other activity.  To others rest is laying in a hammock.  No matter what your definition, we need rest.

I have a laptop so I can be working no matter where I am.  I use a pda so I can be working no matter where I am.  I have a cell phone so I can be working no matter where I am.  Is anyone seeing a pattern here?  It’s good to be active and God commands us to work, but to what degree?  Genesis 2:2 “By the seventh day God completed His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done.”  God rested!  If I’m looking at this right, the Creator of the universe put aside His busy schedule and rested.  What are we doing that is so important that we can’t rest? 

Insert your own list here. 

Here’s mine:

·      Work at work

·      Work at building my own business

·      Work at church

·      Work on my house

·      Work at being a better dad

·      Work at being a better husband

Here’s the really sad part, this is the order that they came to my mind.  I think I have some priority issues.

Work is good.  Work provides for our families.  Work helps society.  Work helps ministries.  Work fights idle hands that would wonder into sin. 

Too much work drains us.  Too much work puts our marriages and families at risk.  Too much work puts our health at risk.  Too much work messes up our priorities.  Too much work makes us weak against Satan’s temptings.

What would happen if we didn't sleep?

A good way to understand the role of sleep is to look at what would happen if we didn't sleep. Lack of sleep has serious effects on our brain's ability to function. If you've ever pulled an all-nighter, you'll be familiar with the following after-effects: grumpiness, grogginess, irritability and forgetfulness. After just one night without sleep, concentration becomes more difficult and attention span shortens considerably.

With continued lack of sufficient sleep, the part of the brain that controls language, memory, planning and sense of time is severely affected, practically shutting down. In fact, 17 hours of sustained wakefulness leads to a decrease in performance equivalent to a blood alcohol level of 0.05% (two glasses of wine). This is the legal drink driving limit in the UK.

Research also shows that sleep-deprived individuals often have difficulty in responding to rapidly changing situations and making rational judgments. In real life situations, the consequences are grave and lack of sleep is said to have been be a contributory factor to a number of international disasters such as Exxon Valdez, Chernobyl, Three Mile Island and the Challenger shuttle explosion.

Sleep deprivation not only has a major impact on cognitive functioning but also on emotional and physical health. Disorders such as sleep apnoea which result in excessive daytime sleepiness have been linked to stress and high blood pressure. Research has also suggested that sleep loss may increase the risk of obesity because chemicals and hormones that play a key role in controlling appetite and weight gain are released during sleep.

(The Science of Sleep, BBC, http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sleep/articles/whatissleep.shtml)

I think God knocked me down a few pegs this week.  I just couldn’t function.  I ended up with a high fever and my body just shut down until I got the rest I needed to recover. 

Ecc. 5:12 “The sleep of the working man is pleasant…”

~Walter E. Homan

Why I'm Not Getting an iPhone | Plugged In Online Up Front

I hope all of you are familiar with Plugged In.   If your not, let me give you a short bio.  Plugged In is the media wing of Focus on the Family.  They research and write reviews for movies in the theater, dvds, music, video games, etc.  Occasionally they will also write an editorial mostly on media or technology issues.

I'm on Plugged In's email list and they had a great article in it this week.

Why I'm Not Getting an iPhone | Plugged In Online Up Front by Adam R. Holz

One of my most memorable bouts with techno-lust happened in late 2005. My wife and I were visiting relatives over Thanksgiving, and a cousin's boyfriend had gotten his hands on the just-released fifth-generation iPod … the first with video capability.

"Ooooohhhhhh," I cooed. "That's cool!" Never mind that I already had an iPod of my own. This was drool-worthy. This had pictures to go with the sound. This was so much better than my so-much-smaller, so-much-less-capable and so-much-less-cool fourth-generation model.

So that Christmas I dutifully ponied up $299 to get one … for my wife. And we're still using it today, remarkably, though its battery life isn't what it used to be.

As for its supercool video feature, well, I think we downloaded exactly one video (U2's "Vertigo"). The new iPod's biggest wow-inducing factor, it turned out, was a total non-issue when it came to our real-world usage of it. In the end, it was just another iPod … and wasn't at all different, functionally, from than the one I already had.

In other words: It was nice, but it didn't complete me.

While I like tech toys as much as the next guy, and while I'm not averse to coughing up the cash if I want (need!) something badly enough, and while I'm certainly not anti-technology, and while I really do think it's even cooler than that 2005 video-enabled iPod … I'm not getting an iPhone. Or any other smartphone for that matter. And I'd like to take a few minutes to tell you why...  (Read the whole article)

I'm one of the few guys left that still doesn't have a smart phone.  I just have an old Motorola Razor.  I've wanted an iPhone for a long time but I've been waiting for Verizon to pick it up.  I'm still on the fence, but Adam's article is definitely something to consider.

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Man Up Men! Live Christlike!
Walter
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I Want to Know What Love Is

If you’re in your late 30’s or early 40’s you’re like me and were a teen in the 80’s.  We were lucky enough with the bands of the 70’s and 80’s.  I mean not just some wimpy teeny-bopper bands like today, but these were some established rock bands that wrote some awesome songs. Many of these bands wrote some great ballads as well. I used to crank this stuff all the time.  That’s what we did, right?  I drove around with my girl friend in my ’68 Chevelle, back when they really were hot rods not just chick cars with subwoofers.  We listened to all those songs and we thought we had it all figured out.

Ok, fast forward a few years and I’m getting married.  Standing at the altar and my soon to be wife walks into the room on the arm of her father, my first thought was “I’m getting married!?!?”  Don’t get me wrong, I was in love with her, I mean I knew all the songs by heart.

Fast forward a few more years.  I’m a married guy and I’m wondering why my wife is upset with me.  Every morning before I left for work I would tell her, “I love you” because I still remembered what it meant.  So what was bugging her?  In 1984 Foreigner released the song “I Want to Know What Love Is”.  Here’s the chorus:

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me
I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
And I wanna feel, I want to feel what love is
And I know, I know you can show me.

I was beginning to get the feeling that saying “I love you” was not showing her that I loved her.

The Bible uses three different words for our word love.  Phileo is friendship love, Philadelphia – city of brotherly love.  Next is eros.  This is passion, sexual, or erotic.  Sadly our world has high jacked this and told everyone this is real love.  Soap operas, porn, tv, and movies portray people jumping into bed and say that it’s love.  In God’s plan of marriage first and sex second, eros love is a great thermometer of our relationship, but the world thinks it’s a thermostat.  What I mean is the world thinks if we have great sex our relationship will get better.  The truth is, if your marriage relationship is great you’ll have great sex.  The last, and in my opinion, the greatest love is agape.  This is the self-sacrificing love, the selfless love, the willing to give up our wants to please our spouse.

In Ephesians 5:25, Paul tells us how we are to love our wives, “as Christ loved the church”.  He died for the church, remember?  1 John 3:16 “We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.”  I think that is probably the ultimate in self-sacrificing.  John even tells us that we should be willing to die for the brethren.  We should be agape loving our fellow believers, and I think you could argue all mankind.  Christ didn’t only die for Christians; He died for all.  Here is another part that the world gets wrong, agape love isn’t reciprocal.  It’s not give and take; it’s all give.  Our goal should be to please others.  Paul write for us in Romans 5:8, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”  While we were living against God’s law, he still loved us enough to die.  We can’t “love” our wives according to what she does for us; we are commanded to love our wives because we are to mirror Christ.  This falls into all of our relationships.  We can’t only love our kids when they get good grades or score more points. 

Likewise, I believe that showing agape love towards our neighbors and the world in general is the best way to win them to Christ.  By consisting serving your neighbor he may wonder “why do you shovel my snow even I yell at your kids?”, “what’s so different about you?”.

Agape love is what holds marriages together for 60 years.  Agape love builds long lasting friendships.  Agape love brings people to Christ.

~Walter E. Homan

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Man Up Men! Live Christlike!
Walter
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End Your Season Well

I read this morning and it reminded me of how we have so many eyes on us. We need to guard our integrity, temptation is all around and it takes on many shapes.

Post from:  http://www.christianitytoday.com/moi/2011/001/february/4.4.html

End Your Season Well
Theme of the week: A Hunter's Guide to Holiness
Friday, February 4, 2011

Key Bible Verse: for I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ's return. (Philippians 1:10) Dig Deeper: Philippians 1:9-11

The old fellow stood at the fence and looked longingly at the huge deer that had just jumped it. As if tempting him to shoot, the buck stood there for what seemed like forever and then ran away.

"Why didn't you take the shot, Gramps?" the young hunter asked.

The seasoned hunter remained motionless, looking toward the one that got away. Then he spoke softly. "Boy, you know me better than that. And you know very well that the land on the other side of this fence is off limits."

The grandson grew very quiet as his grandfather continued. "Young man, I've been around for a lot of years and managed to build a pretty good reputation for being on the up-and-up when it comes to following the rules. I'm not about to let an old buck tempt me into messing up now. I'm too close to the end of my season for such foolishness."

No shots were fired that day, but a great harvest took place in the boy's heart. He learned firsthand what integrity looks like. If he imitated what was personified in the life of his gramps, the young man would do well in and out of the woods.

—Steve Chapman in A Look at Life from a Deer Stand Devotional

My Response: When I am tempted to "break the rules," I will stop and evaluate the impact the decision would have on myself and others.

Thought to Apply: You must bless the church and the world by your holiness, or you will curse them both by your hypocrisy and inconsistency.—Charles Spurgeon (British preacher)

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Walter
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Birds of a feather flock together

I found this website that was linked to www.christianoutdoors.com. 

For years I was guilty of neglecting a relationship with other men.  That's all changed now.  Matter a fact I will be enjoying a nice breakfast with about 25 men later this morning.

A Daily Study of God's Word for Christian Sportsmen January 27, 2011 Today's Photograph . . . . The Forest Floor Is Scratched Bare (MQ)

Bible Study Verse Hebrews 10:25 Not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. (ESV) Thoughts "Birds of a feather flock together," is especially helpful when you are trying to shoot them. Fall turkey hunting is the pursuit of turkeys in flocks. You'll know it when you find them. The forest floor, under the canopies of big oaks or beech trees, is scratched bare from the presence of not just one, but many turkeys. I've always been amazed that an effective turkey caller, imitating one turkey, can bring in an entire flock. (Matt F) Action Point Perhaps one of the most distinctive marks of the biblical Christian is that he or she lives in community with other brothers and sisters, "meeting together" as this verse says, in the church. Someone has once well said that there is no churchless Christianity. I wonder; are you neglecting "the flock?" If so, find your place among God's people in a Bible-saturated, Christ-centered church. Sportsmen's Tip of the Day Learn from the experts. Turkey callers who have mastered the subtle variety of turkey calls can give you an arsenal of calls and techniques to bring in birds.   Sportsmen's Devotional Web Site Sign Up

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Man Up Men! Live Christlike!
Walter
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"Courageous" the Movie

I've watched the video clips for this and it looks really good.  So far I have seen all three of the Kendrick Brother's movies.  Every movie was better than the one before.  Fireproof was excellent so history says this will be better.  Click the banner to see the trailer.

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Man Up Men! Live Christlike!
Walter
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Men's Retreat at Sandy Cove Conference Center

Quick Links Men's Retreat Info Register Now  Sandy Cove Home  Speaker    The Senior Pastor of Bethany Community Church in Seattle, Richard is a popular Bible school and conference teacher in North America and Europe for the Capernwray Missionary Fellowship of Torchbearers. He holds an M.Div. from Talbot Theological Seminary. Dahlstrom offers skeptics and Christians alike compelling advice on living out their faith, Jesus-style.

Stuff to do...   Indoor Rock Climbing, Enclosed Sports Pool, Hot Tub, Frisbee Golf, Big Swing, Ultimate Frisbee, Tournaments, Volleyball, Zip Line, Softball, Basketball, Soccer, Football, Canoeing, Billiards, Fitness Center, Fishing, Tennis, Ping Pong, and more! Register Now!   Register online HERE. Or call 800.234.COVE (2683) Plan your Men's Retreat now! Bring a group from your church or gather a group of guys from work. Ask for Group Ministry to talk about bringing a group.

"I needed this break in my daily routine to hear God's releasing Word!" - Steve, West Grove, PA

Man Up Men! Live Christlike!
Walter
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The Art of Marriage Conference

Only 2 1/2 days left for the early registration deadline.  January 23rd at 11:59pm is your last chance to register at the $35 fee.

Click here for more info or to register!



 

• Session 1:  love happens  (purpose of marriage)

• Session 2:  love fades  (drift to isolation)

• Session 3:  love dances (roles)

• Session 4:  love interrupted  (communication)

• Session 5:  love sizzles  (romance and sex)

• Session 6:  love always  (legacy)

Feel free to forward this on to friends.  Can you imagine if our whole community had great marriages?  What would our churches be like?  What would our homes be like?

We want you to be able to take part in this conference.  If your schedule is holding you back, please don't let it. We want to work with you.  We would be willing to meet with you for a showing or we're also considering maybe a Bible Study or Sunday School class time to view it as well as the February 11th & 12th.  We're even willing to run the program in your home church at a later date if your church would allow it.  But you need to register before the Jan, 23rd deadline to get the $35 price.

We even had a few more door prizes come in this week.

Man Up Men! Live Christlike!
Walter
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God’s Job Description for Men / Intro – Help Wanted: Are You Qualified to Fill the Position of a Godly Man?

What if to be considered a man we had to go through a normal method of getting a job.  You know, fill out the application, going to the interview, and training?  Is there really a job opening?  Yes.  Why?  Slowly we, as men, stopped showing up for work.  It seemed like the whole world went nuts.  Many men walked away from their responsibilities and since the men weren’t doing it, women started filling in the gap.  Here’s the problem.  Although many women are willing and able to fill the position, they were never designed for it. 

I know this makes me sound like a male chauvinist pig! Right?  Not if you consider Biblical principles.  Let’s start with some simple definitions.  Willing = to make oneself available.  Able = having the power, skill, or means.  Just because someone is willing and able doesn’t mean they are the best suited for the job.  Here’s an example; my son, Jedidiah, is 14.  If I need him to drive his siblings to school in my truck he is very willing, he is even able, he weighs in at around 140lbs and is 5’6” and he’s driven my truck in fields before, but he is not qualified to drive on the road.  Why?  Legally he is too young in the state on NJ.  Also he doesn’t have the maturity to carry the responsibility of driving a 2-ton truck down the road with 4 other lives in the truck and many other lives on the road.

God has created men & women equal in importance but different in function and responsibility.  I Corinthians 11:3 says “But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.”  This is where a lot of men get messed up.  They aren’t willing to follow God’s plan except for the part “man is the head of a woman”.  Guys we can’t run around shirking our responsibilities and then demand our wives obey us.  Don’t think this is God’s last words on the husband-wife relationship, just take a look at Ephesians 5:33, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her”.  So before you get to cocky just remember that our example is Christ giving up His life for the church.

In the next few weeks we will be exploring God’s Job Description for Men.  We will mainly be concentrating on man’s role as prophet, priest, and king and how we are to be fulfilling these roles with our wives and families. 

How about it men?  Are you ready for the job? What’s your skill set?  Would you have to leave half of the application blank? Are you willing to step up to your role as leader?  Are you willing to subject yourself to the humbling position of being a Godly man?  Are you up for the challenge?