Could Marvin Gaye Be Right?

Have you ever noticed that your attitude can affect your whole household?  I’m speaking more to husbands and fathers, but all of our attitudes affect everyone.  When I have a lousy day at work or I come home to screaming kids, how to I react?  Normally scream at everyone and mope around. 

Does it help anyone or any situation when I get angry?  Not normally, it normally goes from bad to worse.  Check out these lyrics.

Anger

By Marvin Gaye 1978

Up and down my back, my spine, in my brain
It injures me, babe....

Anger, can make you old, yes it can
I said anger, can make you sick, children... oh Jesus
Anger destroys your soul
Rage, there's no room for rage in there
There's no room for rage in here
line up some place to go to be mad
It's a sin to treat your body bad

When anger really gets the best of us
We've really lost our heads
We often say a lof of things, oh darlin'
Wish we'd never said
Oh, reason is beyond control
And the things we do spite
Makes me ashamed
And I mean this, baby, makes me want to the things right

Someday soon I hope and pray like Jesus
I'll reach that wiser age
Hope I will learn I really never never profit
From things I do in rage

One more time-anger, more ager
When it's flaming hot
Anger burns to the bitter end
Know what i'm talkin' 'bout
When it cools I find out too late
I have lost at love, love, love, dear friend
I said, anger will make you sick,
children, oh Jesus
Anger destroys your soul

I ain't gonna let you get the best of me, babe
I'm gonna go somewhere and cool
This is not the way my head's supposed to be, babe
You've got me feelin' like some silly fool
But I know a real nice place where I can go
And feel the way I’m supposed to feel

I don't want to be mad at nobody
I don't want to be feelin' bad
Up and down my back, my spine, in my brain
It injures me, babe

Anger, can make you old, yes it can
I said anger will make you sick, children, oh Jesus
Anger destroys your soul
Anger
Anger

It seems to me that Marvin Gaye has a pretty good understanding of the cost of anger.

The funny thing is, it really bothers me when people are angry with me.  I mean why can’t they just show me some mercy?  Oh, mercy!  Maybe I should give that a try myself.  Christ has every reason to be angry with me, yet He freely gives me mercy.  I can’t think of one person who has wronged me as much as I have wronged God.  I guessing that no one has ever gotten an ulcer from mercy either.

God help me to grant as much mercy as you have granted me!

~Walter E. Homan

________________________________________

Man Up Men! Live Christlike!
Walter
Email me!

Nobody Likes a Know-It-All

The auto parts store I worked at when I was in high school had all kinds of sayings posted all over the wall behind the counter.  Looking back, one of my favorites was, “Teenagers, leave home now while you still know everything!”  Granted I didn’t think this was all that great then, but now that I have one teenager and one soon to be teenager; I think its brilliant.

One thing that I do a lot of now that I never would have done before is to ask older or more experienced people for advice and direction.  I used to (I hope I’ve stopped now) be so arrogant that I would tell people that were veterans in their field how they could do it better.  If only I would have shut my mouth more, I can just only imagine how much more I would have learned.

It seems I’m much more open to suggestions from others now but I still fight against it sometimes.  One of the people I seem to fight against is God.  So often I get so convinced that I can do things better my way.  In John 21:3 the disciples, like many of us, when things aren’t going right, we do what we’re used to.  Jesus had just been crucified and the disciples went back to their professions as fishermen.  I do the same thing, I get involved in ministry and things don’t go as planned and I want to drop it.  They fished all night and nothing.  That has to be pretty discouraging for a group up well-seasoned fishermen to be completely skunked all night.  Then in verses 5 & 6 Jesus pays the disciples a visit and asks, “how are they biting?”   It’s bad enough they haven’t caught anything now He tell them “just throw your net on the other side.”  I’m not sure I would have taken that as well as they did.  There was no, “ I no what I’m doing leave me alone”, no they just did it.  Because of their faith, their nets were bursting with fish.

Why am I so slow to listen to the One who knows-it-all?  He has given us an entire instruction book to read.  For years it just collected dust on my shelf.  Now I read it almost daily but I still don’t always follow the instruction.  Are you in the same boat as me?  Sorry for the pun.  Do you react the same way I do many times when I read or I feel God’s prompting, “No thanks God I’ll do it my way!”  I pray someday I have the attitude and faith of those fishermen had that night and just shut up and do it!

________________________________________

Man Up Men! Live Christlike!
Walter
Email me!

Rest

Rest has different meanings to different people.  To some it’s a get away from work to hiking, biking, paintballing or some other activity.  To others rest is laying in a hammock.  No matter what your definition, we need rest.

I have a laptop so I can be working no matter where I am.  I use a pda so I can be working no matter where I am.  I have a cell phone so I can be working no matter where I am.  Is anyone seeing a pattern here?  It’s good to be active and God commands us to work, but to what degree?  Genesis 2:2 “By the seventh day God completed His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done.”  God rested!  If I’m looking at this right, the Creator of the universe put aside His busy schedule and rested.  What are we doing that is so important that we can’t rest? 

Insert your own list here. 

Here’s mine:

·      Work at work

·      Work at building my own business

·      Work at church

·      Work on my house

·      Work at being a better dad

·      Work at being a better husband

Here’s the really sad part, this is the order that they came to my mind.  I think I have some priority issues.

Work is good.  Work provides for our families.  Work helps society.  Work helps ministries.  Work fights idle hands that would wonder into sin. 

Too much work drains us.  Too much work puts our marriages and families at risk.  Too much work puts our health at risk.  Too much work messes up our priorities.  Too much work makes us weak against Satan’s temptings.

What would happen if we didn't sleep?

A good way to understand the role of sleep is to look at what would happen if we didn't sleep. Lack of sleep has serious effects on our brain's ability to function. If you've ever pulled an all-nighter, you'll be familiar with the following after-effects: grumpiness, grogginess, irritability and forgetfulness. After just one night without sleep, concentration becomes more difficult and attention span shortens considerably.

With continued lack of sufficient sleep, the part of the brain that controls language, memory, planning and sense of time is severely affected, practically shutting down. In fact, 17 hours of sustained wakefulness leads to a decrease in performance equivalent to a blood alcohol level of 0.05% (two glasses of wine). This is the legal drink driving limit in the UK.

Research also shows that sleep-deprived individuals often have difficulty in responding to rapidly changing situations and making rational judgments. In real life situations, the consequences are grave and lack of sleep is said to have been be a contributory factor to a number of international disasters such as Exxon Valdez, Chernobyl, Three Mile Island and the Challenger shuttle explosion.

Sleep deprivation not only has a major impact on cognitive functioning but also on emotional and physical health. Disorders such as sleep apnoea which result in excessive daytime sleepiness have been linked to stress and high blood pressure. Research has also suggested that sleep loss may increase the risk of obesity because chemicals and hormones that play a key role in controlling appetite and weight gain are released during sleep.

(The Science of Sleep, BBC, http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sleep/articles/whatissleep.shtml)

I think God knocked me down a few pegs this week.  I just couldn’t function.  I ended up with a high fever and my body just shut down until I got the rest I needed to recover. 

Ecc. 5:12 “The sleep of the working man is pleasant…”

~Walter E. Homan

10 ESSENTIALS FOR THOSE NEW TO RECOVERY FROM SEXUAL SIN

Hey guys, we're going to take a little different road this week.  I had a friend of mine, Jeff, ask if he could contribute an article for the newsletter and my blog.  Considering the age we live in I thought it was very well timed.  I just read an article from Paul Caughlin in an email from Focus on the Family that reminds me that we're all susceptible to the temptations of porn.  Here is a clip from that article:

"Christians aren’t immune. When surveyed, 53% of men
who attended Promise Keeper said they viewed pornography that week. 

More than 45% of Christians admit that pornography is a major problem in their home. 

An anonymous survey conducted recently by Pastors.com reported that 54% of
pastors admitted viewing porn within the last year."
Pornography and Virtual Infidelity

Jeff Fisher from porntopurity.com has a great ministry to those recovering and healing from sexual sin.  There is more info on Jeff after the article.

10 ESSENTIALS FOR THOSE NEW TO RECOVERY FROM SEXUAL SIN

I want to offer some top tips for you who are new to recovery.  These are lessons I’ve had to struggle through in my own recovery, but I find them to be universal with most guys who want freedom from sexual sin.

1.  The quicker you go to counseling the better.
Sexual sin is MUCH bigger than you.  You need wise people around you to help you process your crisis and help you go underneath the surface.  We have been acting out sexually for many reasons.  Counselors know what questions to ask and have worked with may who struggle just like you.  Break the ice on going to a counselor.  Find a Christian counselor who has training in sexual struggles.  It is money well spent!

2.  The quicker you go to a support group the better.
Second only to a counselor, a support group is the best place to find healing and victory over sexual sin.  You need to know you’re not alone.  You need other guys to walk with you in the mud.  You need to learn to come out of isolation and into real relationships.  Support groups do all that and more.

3.  Sexual struggles open the door for God to work in many areas.
At first, we think recovery is only about stopping our sexual behaviors.   But God ends up using your sexual struggles as a springboard to work on many issues in your life.  We are out of wack sexually, but also relationally, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually.  Expect God to do His good surgery in many areas of your life.

4.  Sex is not your greatest need.
One of the biggest lies we believe is that we can’t live with out sex and that sex is the highest pleasure achievable.  Our greatest needs are in other areas.  We have a deep need to know God.  We have a deep need to know others and to be known by others.  The sooner you understand that it’s not about the orgasm, the further along in recovery you’ll be.  Trust me on this one!

5.  Recovery has little to do with your outward behavior.
This is probably the biggest shocker to me.  I focused on my behaviors for decades and was counseled to do the same.  Our outward sexual behaviors are the tip of the iceburg.  The bulk of our recovery is underneath the surface.  We need healing from wounds.  We need to learn to express our emotions in a healthy way.  We need deep intimate friendships.  We need to learn to be selfless and serve others.  Stopping behaviors is relatively easy.  Healing on the inside takes much more time and effort.

6.  It’s worse than you think.
We are not the best judges of our own sexual health.  We have been blinded to our true condition.  Every sexual struggler in recovery says at some point, “I can’t believe who I used to be and what I used to do.  I was such a different person back then.”  If you’re new to recovery, you can’t see how far off course you are.  You can’t see the erosion that has taken place in your relationships and in your personal life.  Let this soak in:  Jeff tells me I am worse than I think I am. I have more to work on than I realize.

7.  Replacing lies with truth is critical to recovery.
We also can’t see the lies that we have believed.  My counselor reminds me that with every wound there is a lie that I have believed.  It’s not until you start seeing the truth that you will uncover the lies you have believed.  God’s Word will help you with this.  So will counselors, your spouse, your support group, and close friends who know your story.

8.  Work toward full disclosure.
Ooooh.  We don’t like to think about this.  But the sooner you come clean, the better.  Get the help from a counselor on how to come clean and with whom.  Those closest to you need to know.  Your spouse needs to know.  The people you have been directly involved with need to know.  Not every person needs to know every detail, but you need to quit hiding and share the truth.  When you hold onto secrets and hide you walk in the darkness.  God calls us to “walk in the light”.

9.  Pain and suffering are necessary for deep recovery.
There are no shortcuts to recovery.  There are no quick fixes.  You cannot save yourself from pain and suffering.  Breaking free from sexual sin involves challenge, hurt, brokenness, withdrawal and grieving.  You will have to suffer consequences.  You will have to see that your actions have hurt others.  Go for a deep recovery.  The only way for our recovery to go deep is if we let God push his scalpel in and scrape out all of the junk.

10. God is close and wants to bear the burden with you.
As tough as these tips are, I want you to think about this one the most.  You are not alone.  God is here.  He will help you.  He wants your recovery even more than you and He knows how to get there.  You may go through a lot of hard times, but God will always be a strong shoulder you can lean on.  He helps carry us through the toughest of times.  Be encouraged by this.

---

Jeff Fisher lives in Raleigh, NC.  He and his wife run the site www.porntopurity.com, a site designed to offer hope, encouragement and resources to those who are affected by sexual sin.  Checkout Jeff’s podcasts on I-Tunes:  Top Tips For Sexual Purity, Top Verses For Sexual Purity, and For Ministers Who Struggle.
________________________________________

Man Up Men! Live Christlike!
Walter
Email me!

The Pearls

I know what’s going to happen, you guys are going to start reading this and you’ll make it to the second paragraph and figure that it’s one of those cheesy, forwarded emails, and then you’ll stop reading.  Yes, it is one of those cheesy, forwarded emails but read the whole thing. 

The Pearls

The cheerful little girl with bouncy golden curls was
almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout
stand, she saw them, a circle of glistening white pearls
in a pink foil box.

   "Oh mommy please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy,
please?"

   Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box
and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her
little girl's upturned face.

   "A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2.00. If you really
want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you and in
no time you can save enough money to buy them for
yourself. Your birthday's only a week away and you might
get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma."

   As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and
counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than
her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked
Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for ten cents.
On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar
bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace.

   Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and
grown up. She wore them everywhere, Sunday school,
kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off
was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother
said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.

   Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was
ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and
come upstairs to read her a story. One night as he
finished the story, he asked Jenny, "Do you love me?"

   "Oh yes, daddy. You know that I love you."

   "Then give me your pearls."

   "Oh, daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess, the
white horse from my collection, the one with the pink tail.

Remember, daddy? The one you gave me. She's my very
favorite."

   "That's okay, Honey, daddy loves you. Good night." And he
brushed her cheek with a kiss.

   About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy
asked again, "Do you love me?"

   "Daddy, you know I love you."

   "Then give me your pearls."

   "Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll.

The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is beautiful and you
can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper."

   "That's okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one.. Daddy
loves you."

   And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.

   A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on
her bed with her legs crossed Indian-style.

   As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one
silent tear rolled down her cheek.

   "What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?"

   Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her
daddy. And when she opened it, there was her little pearl
necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said,
         

   "Here daddy, this is for you."

    With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's daddy reached out
with one hand to take the dime store necklace, and with the
other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue
velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls and gave them to
Jenny... He had had them all the time.

   He was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store stuff so
he could give her the genuine treasure.

   So it is, with our Heavenly Father. He is waiting for us to give
up the cheap things in our lives so that he can give us beautiful treasures.

   God will never take away something without giving you something
better in its place.

My Two Cents

This was one of those forwarded emails that seem to make it rounds all over the world.  Most of the time I would scan an email like this real quick and then delete it but this one was different.  This one really made me think.

How many times have we substituted God’s best plan with our cheap plan.  Most of us have the same problem as this little girl, we’re impatient and we want instant gratification not realizing there is something better.  Look at Matthew 7:7-11.  We have completely messed this up.  Instead of ask, seek, and knock we just take what we want.  Drugs and alcohol does this by substituting the true healing of a Godly relationship with the instant numbing of the substance.  Porn, in much the same way, substitutes God’s plan of sex with airbrushed images.  It’s so easy to get caught up in what seems right; like working so many hours for our family that we never see our family.  Let’s face it; God’s plan is always better than ours.  When we jump the gun and settle for the cheap pearls we miss out on all the good things that God has for us.  In what ways are you settling for the cheap pearls because your rushing God?  What blessings are you missing out on?  Spend some time in prayer this week and ask God without a time frame in mind.

________________________________________

Man Up Men! Live Christlike!
Walter
Email me!

God’s Job Description for Men - Prophet Priest and King Series / Part 2 - A Godly Man’s Role as Priest

This week we are going to look our role as priest, no robe required.  The priests of the Old Testament had two major responsibilities: leading worship and interceding for the people.

In the modern church we immediately hear “leading worship” and we think of a song leader.  That certainly is part of it.  How did the priests lead worship?  Lets take a look at a few examples: Noah (Gen. 8:20), Abraham (12:7; 13:4), Isaac (26:25), Jacob (31:54), and Job (Job 1:5).  These men led their family in worship by building an altar and offering a sacrifice.  The reason for sacrifice varied.  Some were offered in thanksgiving, some for first fruits, and some were for to ask forgiveness of sins against God law. 

Easton’s Bible Dictionary describes it as “homage rendered to God”.  Now we can’t offer sacrifices in the same manner that they did but we can still offer them with same spirit.  In what ways can we offer homage?  Music?  Have you ever paid attention to the words of worship songs?  Several of them are love songs to God.  Have you ever lead your family in worship music?  As much as I love music, I don’t think I’ve ever done that.  How about prayer?  When you’ve benefited from God’s grace have you led your family in thankful worship?  God wants to hear from us.  I used to pray the same ”blessing” at every meal.  Ready, here it is “God is great, God is good, now we thank you for this food, amen.”  Now how’s that first deep meaningful prayer?  We get stuck in a rut of speaking christianese to impress who?  God?  I’ve since learned that we need to be real and teach our kids to be real in front of God.  I believe we need speak to God and as would talk to our closest friend.  It’s also incredibly important that we do this in front of our kids and others that look up to us.  They need to see that this is a real relationship.  For some reason we breakout in to old English and we God seem so distant.  We need to get rid of the “thy’s” and “thou’s” out of our prayers.  Our praise and worship has to be real, not rehearsed, not to impress other, just genuine.

As priests we have another responsibility, that of intercessor for our families.  An intercessor is a go between, someone that petitions a higher power on behalf of a lesser power.  Jesus is our intercessor, 1 Timothy 2:5-6 For there is one God, and one mediator also between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, 6 who ^agave Himself as a ransom for all, the testimony given at the proper time.  John 17 gives us an example of what an intercessor should do.  In this chapter Jesus make six different requests or petitions to God.  My Bible titles this the High Priestly Prayer.

1.     Vs. 1, that He(Jesus) would glorify God.  Are we praying that we and our family and friends are glorifying God?

2.     Vs. 3, that others/desciples would know God.  In Phil 1:9, Paul prays that the Philipians would grow in knowledge.   We need to be praying for our families spiritual knowledge.  How to they learn?  It’s our responsibility to provide them with ways to grow.  Family devotions, taking them to church, and talking about the things of God are all ways for them to learn.

3.     Vs. 11, that they would be keep them by his power.  The NIV uses the word protect for keep.  We need to not only pray for their physical safety, but also for their spiritual.  If Satan can’t get us, he will surly go for our kids.

4.     Vs. 17, sanctify them in truth.  We need to be praying for purity for our families and us.  Guys you know as well as I do how easy it would be take just click on that link.  What can our kids access?

5.      Vs. 23, unity.  Unity in church as well as at home.  Do your kids ever fight?  How about you and your wife.

6.     Vs. 24, continual relationship.  I forget what the statistic was exactly but I households where the father takes the family to church, I think it was close to 70% stayed in church compared to 20% were the father didn’t go.

We all pray for safety and grades but are we praying for the deeper things?  Single guys you aren’t off the hook.  You can be praying for all of these things for you families and friends.  Let’s make it a point to get out of the rut and get into some deep conversations with God and brings our loved ones needs with us.

~Walter E. Homan

________________________________________

Man Up Men! Live Christlike!
Walter
Email me!

It's Getting Closer

We're getting excited!  The UPS man dropped off 2 heavy packages for us today.

Just 10 days away.  My wife and I have so many great contacts because of this conference.  If your coming, I hope you know that there are thousands of people praying for you all over the world.
________________________________________

Man Up Men! Live Christlike!
Walter
Email me!

God’s Job Description for Men / Part 2 - A Godly Man’s Role as Priest

This week we are going to look our role as priest, no robe required.  The priests of the Old Testament had two major responsibilities: leading worship and interceding for the people.

In the modern church we immediately hear “leading worship” and we think of a song leader.  That certainly is part of it.  How did the priests lead worship?  Lets take a look at a few examples: Noah (Gen. 8:20), Abraham (12:7; 13:4), Isaac (26:25), Jacob (31:54), and Job (Job 1:5).  These men led their family in worship by building an altar and offering a sacrifice.  The reason for sacrifice varied.  Some were offered in thanksgiving, some for first fruits, and some were for to ask forgiveness of sins against God law.

Easton’s Bible Dictionary describes it as “homage rendered to God”.  Now we can’t offer sacrifices in the same manner that they did but we can still offer them with same spirit.  In what ways can we offer homage?  Music?  Have you ever paid attention to the words of worship songs?  Several of them are love songs to God.  Have you ever lead your family in worship music?  As much as I love music, I don’t think I’ve ever done that.  How about prayer?  When you’ve benefited from God’s grace have you led your family in thankful worship?  God wants to hear from us.  I used to pray the same ”blessing” at every meal.  Ready, here it is “God is great, God is good, now we thank you for this food, amen.”  Now how’s that first deep meaningful prayer?  We get stuck in a rut of speaking christianese to impress who?  God?  I’ve since learned that we need to be real and teach our kids to be real in front of God.  I believe we need speak to God and as would talk to our closest friend.  It’s also incredibly important that we do this in front of our kids and others that look up to us.  They need to see that this is a real relationship.  For some reason we breakout in to old English and we God seem so distant.  We need to get rid of the “thy’s” and “thou’s” out of our prayers.  Our praise and worship has to be real, not rehearsed, not to impress other, just genuine.

As priests we have another responsibility, that of intercessor for our families.  An intercessor is a go between, someone that petitions a higher power on behalf of a lesser power.  Jesus is our intercessor, 1 Timothy 2:5-6 For there is one God, and one mediator also between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, 6who gave Himself as a ransom for all, the testimony given at the proper time.  John 17 gives us an example of what an intercessor should do.  In this chapter Jesus make six different requests or petitions to God.  My Bible titles this the High Priestly Prayer

1. Vs. 1, that He(Jesus) would glorify God.  Are we praying that we and our family and friends are glorifying God?
2. Vs. 3, that others/desciples would know God.  In Phil 1:9, Paul prays that the Philipians would grow in knowledge.   We need to be praying for our families spiritual knowledge.  How to they learn?  It’s our responsibility to provide them with ways to grow.  Family devotions, taking them to church, and talking about the things of God are all ways for them to learn.
3. Vs. 11, that they would be keep them by his power.  The NIV uses the word protect for keep.  We need to not only pray for their physical safety, but also for their spiritual.  If Satan can’t get us, he will surly go for our kids.
4. Vs. 17, sanctify them in truth.  We need to be praying for purity for our families and us.  Guys you know as well as I do how easy it would be take just click on that link.  What can our kids access?
5. Vs. 23, unity.  Unity in church as well as at home.  Do your kids ever fight?  How about you and your wife.
6. Vs. 24, continual relationship.  I forget what the statistic was exactly but I households where the father takes the family to church, I think it was close to 70% stayed in church compared to 20% were the father didn’t go.

We all pray for safety and grades but are we praying for the deeper things?  Single guys you aren’t off the hook.  You can be praying for all of these things for you families and friends.  Let’s make it a point to get out of the rut and get into some deep conversations with God and brings our loved ones needs with us.


~Walter E. Homan

________________________________________

Man Up Men! Live Christlike!
Walter
Email me!